Goodbye Darlings, Hello Misery.

November 2, 2011 by TheFreeRadical

Two of my very good friends are pissing off to Rhodes, and leaving me all by myself to make new friends all on my lonesome.

I’M SO ANGRY WITH THEM!!! But then again, not. They have futures to pursue, and simply can’t do that here. But I’m going to miss them so much. All the good times we’ve had, all the laughs and ‘moments.’

Little you-had-to-be-there kinda things, like the simultaneous nikkle pope and Astro-bear… Sigh, so corny! But so darn hilarious.

 

And I hate the ‘making new friends’ ordeal. Perhaps I should post an ad online and hold interviews so that I don’t actually have to go and squeeze myself into other people’s conversations.

I think my ad will look something like this:

Desperately seeking good friend:

  • males and females welcome, of all ages.
  • must appreciate the music of The Pixies/ The Beetles/ Leonard Cohen/ Laura Marling/ Taxi Violence, or all of these.
  • must not be afraid of physical contact. I wont get all rapey on you, but a hug or a pat every now and then is appreciated.
  • must not feel awkward, unless well, naked and hairy, or something. Awkwardness is the lamest form of lame, parallel only to well, this tuna thing my gran makes. It’s not quite tuna surprise as much as tuna die-of-shock. Tangenting.
  • must enjoy drinking and/or pouring wine.
  • smokers need not apply.
  • must be intellectual and able to carry a conversation.
  • hmmm, what else?
  • facetious nitwits need not apply 🙂

What would you guys add to a theoretical friendship ad?


2 Comments »
  1. hahaha shame that was my plan also- to go to Rhodes but I decided otherwise, Im going to stick it out here….. can I apply? I am also in need of friends, not because there is anything wrong with me but I too have lost almost all my friends to the greener pastures of UCT and UP ..Im not hairy … but I have enormously big eyes that take over my whole face oooh I can pour wine very well and drink it very well too :)… rapey ? are you a paedophile (oo) The Beetles(yes) ellie goulding ,i blame coco?blah blah….and I like cheese ,ALOT….

    Comment by LemonLife — November 7, 2011 @ 00:06

  2. you may most certainly apply!

    i am a cheeso-phile myself!

    we should make plans in the new year!

    so many exclamation marks today……!

    Comment by TheFreeRadical — November 17, 2011 @ 21:48

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